Transgender
by RoyalsWriting
Summary: He was disgusting. Haunted by a ghost, Kurt Hummel wanted June Hummel to be forgotten and destroyed.


**WARNING: Extreme body dysphoria, transphobia, and swearing.**

 **Summary: Kurt is FtM, and his whole world seems to revolve around that sometimes. These are the people that helped him through that.**

 **If I owned glee, klaine wouldn't have become their drive for relationship drama**

* * *

Some days were better than others.

June Hummel was dead. Gone. Disappearing like a ghost, and replaced by one too small, too petite, too _girly_ boy named Kurt.

Kurt did everything in his power to bury her. Destroy the memories, the pictures. Make people _forget forget forget._

Most of the time, they didn't.

Because the binder his dad bought him for Christmas didn't control the thoughts. The insecurities.

The gap between his legs was too big. Too empty.

And his voice didn't drop. Testosterone shots had to wait. Money was tight, he was too young.

He hated himself.

Everyday, he'd stand in the mirror, and stare.

Too curvy hips. Too short. Too high of a voice.

Too much.

* * *

 _"Hey, Finny?"_

 _"Yeah, little sis?"_

 _"Will you... Can I be your little brother instead?"_

 _"Of course. Little brother."_

* * *

"Kurt!" Rachel ran up to the boy, grinning ear to ear. "Guess what!"

"What?"

"We are about to have the best sleepover night ever. My dads are gone for the entire weekend, and all the girls are already coming."

Kurt grinned and shut his locker. "That sounds amazing!"

"We even rented a cabana at the pool for Saturday!"

Kurt stopped, the lump in his throat growing. "Oh."

"What is it?"

"I... Can't."

"What?! Kurt, this night won't be complete without you!"

Kurt shook his head. "I can't. I'm sorry. I have to go."

Stupid fucking swimsuits. Stupid body.

Stupid boobs.

Stupid, empty gap.

* * *

 _"God, Kurt, I want you."_

 _Kurt snapped back from his boyfriend, his eyes wide._

 _"I... Blaine." He said quickly, scooting away from his wandering hands._

 _"What? Did I do something?" Blaine's eyes were concerned. Protective. Sorry._

 _"No, you... You're fine. You just... I'm... Sorry."_

 _"Don't be. We don't have to." Blaine shrugged and squeezed Kurt's hand, smiling reassuringly at his love._

 _"I have something to tell you. Something... Bad."_

* * *

Kurt sat heavily in the choir room chair, sighing softly and willing the tears down. The girls had been talking nonstop about their fun, weekend extravaganza. While Kurt had been home, watching movies with his dad and moping.

He was disgusting.

"Kurtsie, we missed you." Brittany chimed, sitting in the soprano's lap. Kurt managed a smile at the innocent blonde. She knew. She knew his secret. The only reason she did was because she hid in the boy's locker room during class so she didn't have to go, and she had walked in on Kurt changing, all alone.

She didn't think he was disgusting. He had to explain it to her a few times, but after, she just kissed him on the nose and told him she loved her dolphin no matter what.

That had helped. At least Britt would love him forever.

"I'm sorry, Britt. I was busy with my dad, we haven't been hanging out as much, and he wanted to watch movies."

Blaine sat on the other side of Kurt, giving him a knowing, sad smile and kissing him on the cheek.

* * *

 _"Bad?" Blaine frowned. "Did you do something?"_

 _"No. I mean... I'm... Doing something."_

 _"What is it? Are you breaking up with me?" Blaine asked nervously._

 _"No! God, no. But you'll probably want to break up with me."_

 _"Jeez, Kurt, what did you do?"_

 _Kurt stared at Blaine. The love of his life, the one person who accepted him no matter what, the person that made him feel absolutely, purely safe._

 _"I... Wasn't born... A boy." Kurt said slowly._

 _Blaine blinked, before tilting his head. "Oh."_

 _"Yeah."_

 _"Okay." Blaine looked down at his lap. "Give me a minute."_

 _"I'm s-so sorry." Kurt pulled his hand away and Blaine looked up quickly._

 _"Kurt! No, baby, don't cry. God, no, come here." Blaine pulled Kurt into his lap, sitting against the wall and hugging him close. "This isn't a bad thing. Yeah? I just needed a minute to understand what you were saying. Hey, shh, no..."_

 _"I-I-I'm d-disgusting." Kurt shook his head._

 _"Don't say that. You're not disgusting. You're beautiful, right parts or not. You'll never be disgusting to me."_

* * *

"Hey." Blaine said softly, leaning against the locker beside Kurt's.

Kurt looked up and offered a small, sad smile. "Hi."

"Are you okay?"

Kurt just shrugged his shoulders and slung his backpack over his arm. "I want to do normal people things." He said quietly. Blaine sighed and opened his arms to the smaller boy, who gratefully dove into them, burrowing his face in his boyfriend's shoulder.

Just for now, he was safe. Blaine was safe.

* * *

 _"Daddy?"_

 _"Yes, June?" Burt Hummel glanced up from his newspaper, to see his twelve year old daughter standing in front of him._

 _"I... Can I... Can you call me Kurt?" She asked slowly, looking down at her sneakers. Burt stared for a moment._

 _"Sure, honey. Anything else?"_

 _"Can... I be a boy?"_

 _"Honey, you already are to me."_

* * *

"Hummel, is it true that you have a boy pussy?" Jacob Ben Isreal shoved a microphone in Kurt's face. Kurt stared at him and paled, his voice catching in his throat.

"W-What?" He managed to ask, staring at the boy.

"Is it true that you're a 'steve born an eve'? A tranny? Do you still have boobs, or did you get them removed?"

Kurt heard the blood rushing in his ears. His heart was about to thump through his chest, irreverent questions swirling around him like toxins. He backed into the locker, shaking his head.

"Leave me alone. Leave... Leave me alone." He said shakily, but Jacob only got closer.

He saw Finn, Blaine, and Sam walking down the hall towards them.

"Are you really hiding a vagina under those boxers, or was it just another famous Karofsky Rumor? Kurt, answer the question, tranny or not?"

Jacob was tackled to the ground by a heavy body. A flurry of fists and yelps rolled across the dirty tile, as Kurt shoved past people and found his way into the men's room, vomiting obscenely into the toilet. He gagged and sobbed and vomited and vomited, emptying his stomach until he was dry heaving painfully. His lungs wouldn't take enough air, his hands were shaking. Was this another panic attack?

Disgusting.

He was disgusting.

He heard the bathroom door open, and he froze. The last thing he needed right now was a swirlie. He stayed completely silent until a soft voice called out.

"Kurt?"

He sighed shakily. "Finn." He choked, sitting up. Finn opened the stall door and sucked in a breath, walking tentatively over to Kurt. He flushed his vomit and helped the small boy up, wrapping his letterman jacket around his shaking shoulders.

"I'm gonna call Burt, and you're gonna go home. 'Kay?"

"Blaine." He gasped. "I want Blaine. Blaine."

Finn nodded. "I'll get Blaine, okay? I'll get him to go to the office with you, and then I'll drive you home."

Kurt nodded and leaned against his brother, closing his eyes.

* * *

 _"June Hummel?"_

 _Kurt swallowed thickly at the name, looking up at the teacher. The name hadn't been changed in the attendance records, so whenever a teacher was out, the sub would call a dead name, reminding Kurt of a ghost._

 _A ghost forever haunting him._

 _Just a ghost._

* * *

"Was is B-Blaine that beat JBI up?" Kurt asked quietly, looking up at Finn. Finn laughed shortly.

"Nah. Blaine was about to, but Sam beat him to it. Knocked the shit out of him."

Kurt just nodded, looking at his sneakers. He would thank Sam another day.

"Ms. Pillsbury? Kurt had an anxiety problem, 'cause some other students were bullying him. Can he stay here while I call his dad and check him out?"

The redhead looked up from her scrubbing, her eyes widening slightly when she saw the red-faced, shaking boy before her. She nodded quickly.

"Of course. Sit, Kurt."

"And could you call his boyfriend, Blaine? He's really the only person that calms him down." Finn added, taking out his phone.

"Of course."

* * *

 _"This generation thinks they can call themselves anything and get away with it. You're no boy. You were born a girl and you'll always be a girl."_

 _"Mom, that's enough." Burt said lowly, glaring at Kurt's grandmother over the dinner table. Kurt had resigned to picking at his food silently, afraid to speak._

 _He was disgusting._

 _"No, it isn't. You're allowing her to do this, Burt? You didn't raise her right, then. This is an identity disorder, Burt, you have to take her to see someone." The old woman chastised, keeping a disapproving eye on her granddaughter (son)._

 _"It's unnatural, son." Her husband agreed._

 _"Mother, you have no say in what Kurt does and doesn't do. He can be whatever he wants to be. It's his life, not yours. And now, if you'll excuse us, I think we'll be leaving."_

 _Burt grabbed his son's arm and led him out of the house, ignoring the protests of his parents, and driving out of there as fast as he could._

 _"Don't listen to them. I don't think we'll be seeing grandma and grandpa any time soon."_

 _Kurt broke down._

* * *

Blaine appeared in the doorway of Ms. Pillsbury's office, clearly disheveled. He was running, counting on his out-of-breath state and half-on jacket.

"Kurt." He breathed, sitting beside his boyfriend and hugging him close.

Kurt whimpered and buried his face in Blaine's chest.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Anderson, he just won't talk. I've been trying for the last ten minutes." Emma shook her head, looking sadly at the boy.

"He usually doesn't after this. Just let him relax." Blaine offered a smile in the woman's direction. "Thank you."

Blaine pet Kurt's hair and cooed to him, only taking his attention away from the boy when Coach Sylvester entered the room.

"Where is he?!" She bellowed, causing everyone, including Pillsbury, to jump.

"Who?" She asked shakily, looking up at the coach.

"Who did this to porcelain?! Where is he?!" She asked again. Blaine finally spoke up.

"It was Jacob Ben Israel and his stupid talk show."

And with that, Sue was off, storming down the hall and pushing unlucky bystanders out of her way. Finn walked in, looking slightly confused.

"What happened to Coach?" He frowned. Blaine just nodded to Kurt, and a look of realization bloomed on Finn's face.

"Ah. Kurt? I can take you home now." Finn said softly. Blaine looked down at the boy, shaking him lightly, only to find that his boyfriend was fast asleep.

"I can carry him." Blaine said, standing and scooping Kurt up bridal-style.

"Thank you, Ms. Pillsbury." Finn said, and Blaine nodded in agreement at her, before following the tall boy to his car.

* * *

 _"Are you some kind of dyke now?" Tommy followed Kurt down the hall, smirking as the other child refused to turn around._

 _"No. I definitely like boys." He responded, glaring at Tommy over his shoulder._

 _"Then why're you dressed like a dyke?"_

 _Kurt turned on his heel, facing the boy with a stony look of determination and anger. Don't back down his dad had told him._

 _This was him, not backing down._

 _"For your information, Thomas, I'm a boy. There's nothing wrong with lesbians, just like there's nothing wrong with gay men. So you can suck one."_

 _Tommy made a face and laughed loudly, turning to the group of children that were now surrounding them, looking for a show._

 _Kurt was their favorite show lately._

 _He was disgusting._

 _"Hey, everyone, Dyke June here says she's a boy. You're a fag now, hm?"_

 _Kurt stared at him, his eyes wide, unable to form words._

 _"Dyke-y June, show us your dick." Tommy shouted above the laughter of Kurt's classmates. His friends, some of them._

 _At least, they were._

 _He was disgusting._

 _Disgusting._

* * *

"And your next McKinely High Prom Queen is..." Figgins pulled the name from the envelope and scanned the crowd, almost disappointed. "June Hummel."

Kurt froze on the spot, his eyes wide, his heart beating.

 _June Hummel_

 _June Hummel_

 _June Hummel_

 _Run._

He bolted out of the auditorium, Blaine right behind him. He made it into the hallway before he broke down, sobbing and hiccuping and clinging to Blaine's jacket like it was his life.

He was a girl. A _queen_. The girliest, least convincing boy there ever was.

He was girly, and revolting, and

disgusting.

Absolutely disgusting.

* * *

 _"Dad. I... I need a new planner."_

 _"Why? What's wrong with the one you've got, Kurt?" His dad looked up and frowned at his son._

 _"Its..."_

 _"Don't tell me you've lost it again. Kurt, you're paying for the next one." His father's eyes looked stern._

 _They softened immediately when Kurt pulled his planner from his backpack, revealing that someone had taken sharpie and written **TRANNY** across the front, in big, block letters._

* * *

 _"_ Kurt Hummel."

Kurt crossed the stage and took his diploma from Figgins, smiling widely and moving his tassel to the other side of the hat.

He was done.

He was out of here.

Nothing was stopping Kurt Hummel now.

* * *

 _"I want to pay for your top surgery."_

 _Kurt stared at his father in disbelief._

 _"And get you some testosterone. For your sixteenth birthday." He continued. "I've been saving this whole time, and I've finally managed to collect enough for- OOF!"_

 _Kurt threw himself at his dad, hugging him tightly._

 _"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Kurt shouted through his tears, hugging his dad and sobbing into his shirt. His dad laughed and hugged him right back, brushing away his own tears._

 _"Yeah, well, you deserve it."_

* * *

"Tranny!" Kurt looked over his shoulder at his college classmate, frowning slightly, before turning and continuing to walk.

He was worth more than that.

* * *

 _"I want to move to New York." Blaine looked at his boyfriend and smiled. "With you."_

 _Kurt stared back, frowning slightly. "Bee, your scholarship is here. In Ohio. You can't leave that."_

 _"You really think I want to stay in Lima Ohio for the rest of my life? Or go out and adventure the world with my super hot, super manly boyfriend?"_

 _Kurt grinned widely. "I love you."_

 _"I love you too."_

* * *

"I want to adopt. Babies."

Kurt looked up at his husband, completely puzzled at the sudden outburst.

"Are you sure it's babies you want to adopt?"

"Shut up."

"Or possibly aliens?"

He laughed. "I want babies. Babies to raise with my amazing husband. I want a family, Kurt."

Kurt grinned at him, setting down his laptop to cup his love's face and kiss him on the lips.

"Me too."

* * *

 _"Will you marry me?"_

 _Kurt stared down at his husband with wide eyes._

 _This man. This proud, daring, beautiful, sexy, caring, wonderful and confident man, wanted Kurt._

 _And no one else but Kurt._

 _And he wanted to marry him. To make him his. Publicly, proudly, and forever. Fearlessly._

 _Always._

 _He was **loved.**_

* * *

 **Sorry if I got a few things about transgender wrong. I don't know a whole lot about it, but I hope I wrote it well! I'm quite proud of this. Review?**


End file.
